Survivors of childhood trauma and abuse often face dismissive and victim-blaming attitudes. Phrases like “stop focusing on the past,” “get over it,” and “you’re just making yourself the victim” are not only hurtful but also harmful. They undermine the survivor’s experience and further perpetuate their pain. These responses are especially damaging as they shift the blame onto the survivor and dismiss the severity of their trauma.

Growing up, I often heard phrases like these directed at me and other survivors. It felt like a slap in the face every time someone dismissed my pain. The trauma was real, and its effects were lasting. For many years, I struggled with depression and anxiety, which impacted every aspect of my life culminating in a breakdown. Hearing dismissive comments only made it harder to seek help and heal, as it felt like my suffering was invalidated.

The dismissiveness and gaslighting that survivors face are more than just words—they are forms of psychological abuse. Telling someone to “get over” their trauma is akin to telling them their experiences don’t matter. It contributes to the stigma surrounding mental health and discourages survivors from seeking the help they desperately need. These toxic attitudes can make survivors feel isolated and misunderstood, exacerbating their struggles.

The Need for Societal Change

For real change to occur, society must prioritize mental health. This means integrating mental health education into school curriculums and providing specialized training for police officers, hospital staff, and other professionals who may interact with individuals experiencing mental distress. By making mental wellness a priority, we can create an environment where survivors feel supported rather than shamed.

Implementing Change

1. Education in Schools: Introduce mental health education at all levels of schooling. Teach students about the impact of trauma and the importance of empathy and support.
2. Professional Training: Ensure that police, medical staff, and other first responders receive comprehensive training on how to handle situations involving mental health crises.
3. Public Awareness Campaigns: Launch campaigns that highlight the realities of living with trauma and the importance of mental health support.
4. Support Systems: Develop community-based support systems that provide resources and counseling for survivors.

It’s time for society to stand up and make mental wellness a priority. We must recognize that mental distress is common and deserves attention and care. By fostering an environment of empathy and understanding, we can help survivors feel validated and supported. It’s not enough to acknowledge the problem; we must actively work towards solutions and acceptance.

Empathy

Empathy is not a luxury—it is a necessity. The harsh reality is that many people will never understand what it’s like to survive childhood trauma. But that doesn’t mean they can’t learn to be supportive. We must make a collective effort to change the conversation around mental health. Let’s replace judgment with compassion and create a world where everyone feels safe to share their story and seek the help they need.