Freedom by Phoenix H. Page
Hey Guys, so I am not sure when I wrote it but came across it a while ago. As you can imagine, it is a travel into a world where my biological mother did not die. I thought I would share it; it is just short, and it speaks to me, which is good seeing as I wrote it, just wish I could remember when. Anyway, Enjoy. -Jess
Having A Bad Day, So This.
This tightening in my chest,
This knot in my stomach,
These unshed tears in my eyes,
This past I cannot escape.
A Big Trigger Breakthrough
It is interesting that now, when I have a breakthrough or epiphany or even a breakdown, my first impulse is to do a live video to talk about it, so that I can share my journey, but also so I can feel less alone, less isolated and so that I can show others that it is okay to be yourself, and, if yourself happens to be like myself, messy as fuck, then you rock that shit. It is okay to show emotion, rage, scream, cry, punch a pillow, sleep, or shut down for a bit, all of these are normal ways to show your emotions, and people like us are suffering, often in silence. I am not. I am right here. Plain view. Showing much of what I am dealing with. It is okay, whatever way you deal with your trauma, you are valid. Alright, self-affirmations aside let’s dig into this trigger.
Childhood Conditioning and Stockholm Syndrome
Recently I had a conversation via Facebook with one of my new friends that I have made through this project. Truly I had no idea how creating this Facebook Page, then my blog would affect my life. I have been “meeting” some amazing people and it is a wonderful way to connect and share and […]
The Doorway
“You come back here young lady!” rang the angry voice behind her as she ran out of the dusty old house. “Jessica Lynn!” screamed the shrill voice as she ran down the broken sidewalk to the sanctuary of the small jungle behind the ‘Dead End’ sign at the end of the street. Once inside she would be safe, alone. Her little feet made a pitter-patter sound as they ran, avoiding any cracks in the broken sidewalk. She might not like her mother, but to break her back would be the ultimate sin.
READER SUBMISSION POST !!Trigger Warning !!
C-PTSD Trauma Survivor From the age of 5, up to my 18th birthday, I don’t remember a day where my life wasn’t pure hell. I had abusive parents, an older brother who hated me, and encouraged our younger brother to hate me as well…and a grandfather who molested me.
Yeah. That’s why older brother hated me. He claimed I had lied about the whole thing. And so did many others.
Today, I Am not Okay
Yesterday, I was not okay.
As far back as I can remember, I have never been okay.
I have been many things.
What are Gaslighters?
Gaslighting is a term to describe people who try to manipulate others by psychological methods. Essentially they use this to make the other person question their own reality, their own sanity and their own way of looking at things, especially themselves.
What does C-PTSD and PTSD healing really mean?
One year ago I reached a point where I could not handle my life anymore. My depression was so strong, for me, and I was falling apart. I would be wracked with emotional flashbacks. I would be hit at any moment without warning with pain, grief and loss. I would start to feel the rage that had plagued me when I was a child. There would be times when I would put up the emotional bubble, the shield that protected me from feeling when I was a kid.
C-PTSD Triggers Can Pop Out of Anywhere
Some of you have been following the Facebook page and the blog for a while. Hell, it has only been up for a few months. I am amazed at the response. Aside from a few unhinged people, we have had some great people here in the community and I am grateful for each of you. […]