Cycle of Abuse:
A Guide for Survivors
Childhood abuse leaves lasting scars on survivors, and the impact can last for generations. Those who experience trauma as children are more likely to grow up to be abusive themselves or entangled in toxic relationships. But, as difficult as it may seem, we can break the cycle of abuse – both for ourselves and for generations to come. This article will provide insights on how to stop the cycle of abuse and break free from the damaging patterns that have been passed down from one generation to another.
- Acknowledge That Abuse Happened TO You – The first step in breaking the cycle of abuse is to acknowledge the reality of what happened. This can be challenging since survivors often minimize or blame themselves. But acknowledging and accepting what happened is crucial for healing and moving forward. Seek therapy or support groups that cater to trauma survivors and offer a safe space for you to express your feelings and emotions.
- Replace Toxic Behaviors – It’s critical to recognize the abusive patterns and behaviors that were modeled and replace them with positive and healthy habits. It can be challenging to break free from learned behaviors but with practice, it’s possible to shift away from abusive patterns. Identify the negative patterns and replace them with positive ones. For instance, if yelling and screaming were prevalent in your household growing up, try to learn positive communication skills.
- Practice Self-Care – Self-care is crucial for survivors because physical, emotional, and psychological trauma can take a toll on the body and mind. Practicing self-care is a way of showing yourself kindness and compassion. This may include daily habits such as eating healthily, exercising, getting enough sleep, or meditation. Additionally, practicing self-care can often lead to a deeper sense of self-awareness and self-love.
- Break The Silence – Cultivate relationships with people who can hear you and affirm your experience. Often, survivors of abuse stay silent out of shame or fear of not being believed or being. Breaking the cycle means breaking the silence, speaking up, and sharing your story with trusted individuals. Sharing your story can be both liberating and empowering and show that you are not alone.
- Forgive Yourself It Was Not Your Fault – Forgiving yourself is vital to healing. You are not nor were you ever responsible for what was done to you. Survivors suffer from guilt. That guilt does not belong to you. It belongs to the people who abused you. They system that failed you. You are not responsible for what was done to you, this is worth saying twice.
Breaking the cycle of abuse requires a great deal of self-reflection, commitment, and support. It’s a continuous journey that starts with acknowledging the reality of what happened, replacing toxic behaviors with positive ones, practicing self-care, breaking the silence, and forgiving yourself. It’s never too late to start the healing process. The cycle of abuse can be broken, and survivors have the potential to create healthier and happier relationships with themselves and with others. Remember, healing is a journey, trust yourself, and be kind to yourself along the way.
About The Author
I am phoenix. I used to be Jessica , during my healing journey I needed to rename myself. I have become a new person. The child who suffered abuse and trauma will always be a part of me. Those first eleven years of my life defined who I have become today. I have spent my entire life struggling to survive, struggling to get back up every time I was pushed down. This journey has been my entire life. Now I am in the process of finding out who I really am. It is a hard road to take but it is also one worth taking. I hope you will find comfort in my journey, knowing that you are not alone in this world. We Survivors need to keep fighting and only survivors can truly understand what we go through. You are Valid. You are worth healing, worth loving, you make the world a better place.
Phoenix H. Page
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