C-PTSD Trauma Survivor From the age of 5, up to my 18th birthday, I don’t remember a day where my life wasn’t pure hell. I had abusive parents, an older brother who hated me, and encouraged our younger brother to hate me as well…and a grandfather who molested me.

Yeah. That’s why older brother hated me. He claimed I had lied about the whole thing. And so did many others.

A Letter To My Sperm Donor

NOTE: (5/17/24) I was given a DNA test several years ago and through that was found by my paternal biological sister. I now know who the sperm donor is, Anthony Chris Russon from upstate NY. Glens Falls area. He had a restaurant or something. Anyway, long story short (long version will be in the book.) […]

Bleeding Out Through Writing…

This is going to just be like most of my Facebook live videos, a rambling post that I am just going to let flow. There is no purpose to this other than to express myself. It will be interesting to see how it turns out. Read, don’t read, I just need to write.

I feel like I shit. I wrote about that a while ago, I am not okay. And it is okay not to be okay but it feels like shit and as the chemicals in my brain change due to the medications I am taking to help me deal with the symptoms of the C-PTSD or Developmental Trauma Disorder, I am struggling.

Today, I Am not Okay

Yesterday, I was not okay.

As far back as I can remember, I have never been okay.

I have been many things.

What are Gaslighters?

Gaslighting is a term to describe people who try to manipulate others by psychological methods. Essentially they use this to make the other person question their own reality, their own sanity and their own way of looking at things, especially themselves.

What does C-PTSD and PTSD healing really mean?

One year ago I reached a point where I could not handle my life anymore. My depression was so strong, for me, and I was falling apart. I would be wracked with emotional flashbacks. I would be hit at any moment without warning with pain, grief and loss. I would start to feel the rage that had plagued me when I was a child. There would be times when I would put up the emotional bubble, the shield that protected me from feeling when I was a kid.

C-PTSD Triggers Can Pop Out of Anywhere

Some of you have been following the Facebook page and the blog for a while. Hell, it has only been up for a few months. I am amazed at the response. Aside from a few unhinged people, we have had some great people here in the community and I am grateful for each of you. […]

Not Giving Up Yet

Childhood Trauma Survivor Not Giving Up

I want to feel the water fill my lungs,As I fight despite myself for survival.The fish and marine animals watch impassivelyI sink deeper and deeper into the darkness of the depths of the ocean.The salt water stinging my eyes.My lungs ready to burst, trying to pull in air where there is none. I watch as […]

The Morning My Mother Showed Me Magic Existed

Childhood Abuse Survivor

[av_image src=’’ attachment=’349′ attachment_size=’full’ align=’center’ styling=” hover=” link=” target=” caption=” font_size=” appearance=” overlay_opacity=’0.4′ overlay_color=’#000000′ overlay_text_color=’#ffffff’ animation=’no-animation’ admin_preview_bg=”][/av_image] [av_textblock size=” font_color=” color=” admin_preview_bg=”] A little Background I have written and talked a little about my biological mother. She was a very sick woman. Her illness, from what I understood started when she was pregnant with my […]

Nightmares – Night Terrors and PTSD/C-PTSD

Childhood Trauma Nightmares

Hi everyone, I have been posting and talking about my night terrors/nightmares recently and I have been asked about the difference between the two and what the relationship is between these and PTSD and C-PTSD. I was going to write a response on the Facebook page and I felt that it would be a better […]