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[av_heading heading=’Another Rant About Another Bullshit Quote’ tag=’h3′ style=” size=” subheading_active=” subheading_size=’15’ padding=’10’ color=” custom_font=” admin_preview_bg=”][/av_heading]
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Hi Guys, the following is another rant against a bullshit quote that is floating around the interwebs. I want to remind you that your strength comes from within and being you is okay. I initially wrote this for the facebook page but it became so long I decided to make it a post. Enjoy. 😎
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This is another bullshit quote that has been making the rounds and I had to unlike the Facebook page because they decided to share ignorant crap like this.
“Strong women don’t play the victim, don’t make themselves look pitiful and don’t point fingers. They stand and deal.”
My friends, there is so much wrong with this and it disturbs me that this kind of thinking is so prevalent.
First we have the old “Don’t Play The Victim” crap. If you have been following my Facebook page for a while you know how much this shit pisses me off. This goes for men too. Let’s get something straight, there is no shame in having been a victim. IF you are someone who believe this bullshit and is unwilling to learn and educate yourself to be a supportive person and not a complete asshat, GTFO my page now.
This is something that has been passed down from generation to generation to shut us up. To make us suffer in silence and to protect the abusers. I feel that people honestly do not understand the harm they are doing when they share shit like this. They think they are empowering and helping when in reality they are victim shaming and causing harm to vulnerable people. People, men and women, buy into this crap and then feel they need to hold in their pain and their suffering.
Let’s get something straight. There is no “Playing the Victim“. This is not a fucking game. If you were victimized, then you were at one point a victim. There is no shame in this damn it. Own it. Accept it and accept your symptoms. Get help and accommodate yourself. You are responding as a normal human being who was traumatized would respond and that is okay.
This is the message we need to share and get out there not this ignorant bullshit blaming the victim for experiencing what victims experience.
“Strong Women” Who the hell do these people think they are to think they know what a strong woman or man is? You think showing emotion is not strong, you think suffering and surviving is not strong? Man this pisses me off. I had two asshats so far troll my page and while I feel sorry for them, I want to bitch slap them too. Because this is such ignorance. These fuckers think they have the answers and they think they know, when in fact they are ignorant people who cause harm and not only to others, but to themselves too.
Strength comes in so many forms my friends and sometimes you may not recognize it. It comes from surviving. It comes from waking up each day and forcing yourself out of bed to do the things you need to do. It comes from accepting that you need to stay in bed and give yourself some rest so you can get through the next day. It comes from accepting that you are suffering and doing something about it. It comes in so many forms and hiding your pain is not one of them.
Hiding your suffering and ignoring what you are dealing with is a common symptom of C-PTSD and it is something that causes more harm than good. Acceptance. Education. Healing. These are what take strength. Communication takes strength. Accommodation and understanding takes strength. This is old thinking, that hiding what you are going through is what makes you strong. No. It encourages denial and causes long term pain and it will prevent healing.
“Don’t think like a victim.” FUCK YOU. I was a victim. I am not ashamed of this. The abusers should be ashamed. For the love of Fred people, educate yourself and stop believing bullshit like this because all it does is perpetuate a harmful message.
“Don’t make themselves look pitiful and don’t point fingers.” Again. FUCK YOU. Listen to me and listen closely. This is again designed to protect the abusers and not the victims. There is no shame in having been victimized. I cannot stress that enough. If someone thinks you look pitiful, then the issue is with them, not you and they do not deserve to be in your life.
There is no shame in showing what you are going through. Breaking down is natural and healthy. Showing emotion is healthy. And as for pointing fingers, point those fucking fingers. Call the abusers out. Are you kidding me with this crap? Has anyone thought about this? Why the fuck are people sharing this shit? You do a search for this fucking quote and it is everywhere and it is utter bullshit.
“They stand and deal.” well that is what we do. Every fucking day this is what we do. We are survivors of trauma, abuse and we are still here. There is not a day that goes by that we do not struggle with the past abuse in one way or another.
Look guys, I know that people mean well, but I am so sick of the ignorance which is why I started my own blog, Facebook page and private Facebook group. There is so much ignorance out there. There is so much victim shaming out there. Social media, the web itself, is full of misinformation and you need to think about what you read. You need to think about the people who are posting this crap and you need to protect yourself from internalizing it.
If you are following me on Facebook, or through the blog or are a part of our private group, then you are either someone who has suffered trauma and you are someone who suffers and are working on looking for a community that will be there for you, support you and encourage you. Or you are someone who cares about people who have suffered.
Your experience is valid and your reactions to your experiences are valid. We all respond differently to trauma. I am here to empower you and to validate you and educate you.
But, and I cannot stress this enough, THINK about what you read. Think about your sources, even me, because I am suffering and working on healing just like you. I am learning as I go and I know there are many who would disagree with my methodology and my way of looking at things. And that is okay, they can go off to their corner of the net and bitch about people like me.
I am a real person and I am an Adult Survivor of Childhood Trauma. I have C-PTSD. I am not ashamed of this. I am not ashamed of my breakdowns. I am not ashamed of my fears and my struggles. I am doing the best I can to heal myself and I am hoping that I am helping some of you feel empowered and I really hope I am letting you know that you are not alone. Your reactions are normal for people who have been traumatized.
Quotes like this are like cancer. There are insidious. They creep into popular culture and they cause so much harm. If you can, share this, or write your own post and fight back. If you are not able yet to fight back, then internalize my message. Not this bullshit. YOU ARE VALID. Be you, do your thing and work on your healing and do not internalize these shitty messages that are designed to protect the abuser and shame the victim.
There is no shame in mental illness. There is no shame in PTSD, C-PTSD, Depression, Panic, Anxiety or any other symptoms that you struggle with. Remember that and remind yourself of that. It was not your fault. The abuser is at fault.
YOU ARE VALID. I care about you and your journey and I hope that I can help in some small way. You are not alone my friends. Remember that and continue to reach out and connect.
You are all worth so much more than you know. Never forget that and if you need a reminder just send me a message and I will pump you so full of Pollyanna goodness you will be bursting at the seams. I am your cheerleader. -Jess
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